How to Choose a Private School for Your Child in the Twin Cities

After thirty years in the Twin Cities, I have come to believe the most important question in any search is not which school ranks highest, but which one suits your child.

I know rigorous schooling from the inside. From first through twelfth grade, I was educated at Beauvoir and National Cathedral School in Washington, D.C., sister to St. Albans and among the most demanding Episcopal institutions in the country. Later, teaching high school English at The Blake School, I watched students arrive from every corner of the metro: public and parish classrooms, Waldorf and Montessori programs, and everything in between. The ones who flourished were not always those with the most impressive resumes. They were the kids whose earlier schooling had matched how they learned.

Our own family never followed a single formula. Two of my children began in Waldorf classrooms, surrounded by art, music, and storytelling, before moving on to St. Paul Academy and Summit School. My youngest attended Lake Country School from Children's House through eighth grade. Each school met a child at a specific moment in their growth, and together those experiences showed me that what works beautifully for one kid can fall flat for a sibling.

Most parents compare reputations, test scores, and tuition. Far fewer look at what actually happens inside a classroom each day. Does the teacher lecture while students take notes, or do kids lead the discussion? Do children choose their own projects, or follow a set sequence? How much homework is assigned, how are students graded, and what happens when a child falls behind or races ahead? The answers make up a school's pedagogy, its approach to teaching, and they will shape your child's experience far more than any ranking.

Few families have ever had reason to study this, and that is where I come in. My graduate work at Teachers College, Columbia University, carried me through a master's degree plus all of my doctoral coursework, and a decade of teaching let me see those theories play out with real students.

The Twin Cities offer a remarkable range of teaching approaches, and I have lived many of them firsthand. A colleague who had trained at Phillips Exeter Academy taught me the Harkness method, the discussion based model now used in SPA's upper school, and I brought it into my own English classroom. Long before my own children found their way to Waldorf and Montessori classrooms, I was a Montessori student myself in Washington, D.C. Traditional college preparatory programs, Quaker and faith based schools, and specialized settings like Groves Academy each bring something distinct as well. The name on a sweatshirt counts for far less than the match, and figuring out which approach suits your son or daughter is exactly the conversation I love to have with families.

Knowing the philosophies is half the picture. The other half is knowing the schools themselves: how they feel on an ordinary Tuesday, what their graduates say years later, and which kinds of kids do their best work in each. Having taught, parented, and counseled across this community, I bring that perspective to every family I advise. Here are the options people most often ask me about.

Dozens of parish elementary schools, including Annunciation, Our Lady of Grace, Carondelet Catholic, and St. Charles Borromeo, also offer close knit communities through eighth grade.

Sometimes a bright, curious child enrolls in a highly demanding school because it looks ideal on paper. For some students, that pressure is energizing. For others, it slowly dims their spark. They stop raising their hands, begin measuring themselves only by grades, and the joyful, questioning kid their parents knew starts to disappear.

That is no failing on the child's part, nor necessarily the school's. It is a mismatch, and it can be fixed.

I have watched students transfer and come back to life. A teenager who felt lost in a large, competitive environment can find her voice around a discussion table. Someone craving more challenge may finally feel stretched. For a child with an undiagnosed learning difference, a move to Groves can reveal that he was never behind at all, only taught in a way his brain didn't absorb. Changing schools is not giving up. Often it is the most loving, clear eyed decision a parent can make, and I guide families through the timing, the openings, and the framing so a transfer feels like a fresh start.

Many parents quietly hope that years of private school tuition will open the door to an Ivy League college. It is an understandable hope. A rigorous program can build strong writers, disciplined thinkers, and confident students, and that preparation has real value. But a demanding transcript from a prestigious campus is not a ticket to Harvard or Yale, and the numbers on that question would surprise many families.

What the most selective colleges look for goes well beyond grades and a school's name, and much of it cannot be purchased or assigned. That is a conversation I would rather have with you directly, because every student's path looks different.

Here is what I can tell you. As a counselor who works with students from eighth grade through senior year, I can steer your child toward the most selective universities throughout high school, shaping course choices, activities, and writing along the way. Ultimately, though, a young person has to want it. That ambition cannot come from a parent's checkbook or an institution's reputation. It has to grow from within, and as an educator, helping kids discover that drive for themselves is what I do best.

If you already live in the Twin Cities, try to tune out what neighbors and colleagues are choosing and look closely at your own child. When are they happiest? What drains them, and what lights them up? Visit on ordinary school days rather than only at open houses, and notice how students speak to one another and to their teachers. Most independent schools set application deadlines in winter for the following fall, so late summer or early autumn is the ideal time to start.

If you are moving here, the task is harder, because you may be selecting a school before you have found a neighborhood. The metro is spread out, and the difference between a campus in Mendota Heights and one in Golden Valley can shape both where you live and how much of your day is spent in the car. I help relocating families understand the landscape, identify schools that may still have openings, and coordinate the enrollment decision with the rest of the move.