Dear Parents,
Every year, I see more students consider using AI for their college essays, and I understand why. The college process can feel overwhelming, and families are often looking for ways to make it easier. But when it comes to the personal essay, I want parents to know that the strongest writing usually comes from the student's own voice.
The essay is one of the few parts of a college application where a student gets to show who they really are. It gives admissions committees something they cannot find in grades or test scores, which is a glimpse of personality, perspective, and self-reflection. That is why it matters so much for the essay to feel genuine and personal. Colleges are not only looking for strong students. They are also looking for thoughtful, self-aware young people who can communicate their experiences in a clear and authentic way.
This is also where working with a college essay coach can be so helpful. A good coach can help students think through their experiences, uncover what feels most meaningful, and shape a story that truly reflects who they are. Sometimes students need help recognizing that the moments they think are ordinary are actually the ones that make them interesting. What feels small or routine to them may be exactly what makes their story feel real and memorable to someone else.
My concern with AI is not just that it can make an essay sound less personal. It can also pull students away from the process of discovering their own story. The best essays are not written to sound perfect. They are written to sound real. Colleges want to hear the student's voice, including the small details, quirks, and honest reflections that make the writing feel human and memorable. That voice is what helps an application stand out in a crowded pool of similarly accomplished students.
It is also important for families to know that colleges have clear expectations around AI use in applications. In general, students should not use AI to write the actual essay. Some schools may allow it for brainstorming or editing, but the essay itself should remain the student's own work. And while families sometimes think of this as a small shortcut, the consequences can be serious. At a recent college counselors conference, admissions officers from the University of Pennsylvania shared an example of a student who fabricated something on her application. She was initially accepted, but later had her admission rescinded. That story was a powerful reminder that honesty in the application process really matters, and that a rescinded offer is not just a warning. It is a real outcome that can change a student's path in a major way.
As parents, one of the best things we can do is encourage our children to trust their own voice. The college essay does not need to be polished to the point of sounding generic. It needs to feel thoughtful, sincere, and unmistakably theirs. That is what helps a student stand out in a process where so many applications can start to sound similar. Students do not need to have the most dramatic story in the room. They need to have a true one.
If a student is stuck, the answer is usually not to hand the writing over to AI. The better path is to slow down, talk through ideas, and help them find the story that only they can tell. That story does not have to be extraordinary. It just has to be honest, clear, and true to them. When students are supported in that process, they often end up with a stronger essay and a better sense of confidence in their own voice.
For families navigating this process, my hope is that the college essay remains what it was always meant to be: a place for students to reflect, connect, and share something meaningful about themselves. That kind of writing does more than complete an application. It gives a college a chance to meet the student behind the numbers, and it gives the student a chance to be seen.
A note from Zelda
If you would like help guiding your child through the essay in a way that keeps their voice intact, that is exactly the work I do every day. My door is open.
Warmly, Zelda Thomas. Independent college counselor and essay coach in Minneapolis.
Questions parents ask
Frequently asked
- Is it okay for my child to use AI to help with their college essay?
- Use AI to brainstorm or check grammar if you want, but do not let it write or rewrite the essay. The voice colleges are looking for is your child's, and AI tends to flatten exactly the details and turns of phrase that make a student stand out.
- Can colleges actually tell if an essay was written by AI?
- Often, yes. Admissions officers read the essay against the rest of the application, and if the voice does not match the student they see in the recommendations, activities, and interviews, they may flag it. Detection tools are a piece of it, but the human read is what most often catches it.
- What happens if a college decides an essay was written by AI?
- Many schools treat AI-generated essays the same as plagiarism. Consequences range from a denied application to a rescinded admission, sometimes even after a student has enrolled.
- How does a college essay coach actually help?
- A good coach helps your child find the story only they can tell, then guides them through drafts so the writing sounds like them at their best. The point is not to polish them into someone else, it is to help them be clearly and confidently themselves on the page.